I haven’t posted in a while. I haven’t really felt like continuing my story. I don’t really want to think about that last miscarriage just now, I guess. My due date for that baby is quickly approaching. I’m not pregnant again – I haven’t even had the chance to try yet. (That’s a story for a later post.) We’ve been thinking about adoption (another story for a later post) but not really getting anywhere.
Mostly, what I’ve been feeling is fear. Fear that I’ll never be able to have a baby, or be able to adopt a baby. That there is something fundamentally wrong with me. That I’ll get older and older and it’ll just be me and my husband. Fear that that won’t be enough for us.
I’m scared that it’s never going to work out for me.
