Oh, that my sleep were so peaceful!
So today, for whatever reason, exhaustion set in. Okay, perhaps being 33 w 5 d pregnant is reason enough, I don’t know. What I do know is that I attempted to write, got completely stuck in the same ten page space where I’ve been for two weeks and had to go home, where I curled up on the couch with my pregnancy pillow (which I still think looks like a big poop) and fell asleep… for two and a half hours. I s*@t you not. By the time I woke up, it was 5:30 PST and I was late making my credit card payment, which I learned was due by 7pm EST. I wrote them a note hoping not to get hit with a late fee. I used the pregnant sleeping excuse.
Anyway, while a nap alone would not normally be enough to alarm me, the level of sheer exhaustion I experienced today makes me nervous. Am I nearing the end of my capable stage? For the time being at least? This weekend we’ve got MAJOR work to do in the nursery (you know, like sifting through all the stuff we’ve been given, arranging furniture and figuring out what’s left to buy so we can buy it) and next week, in addition to finishing all of that, as well as completing the transition of one wall of my dining room into my home office, I’ve got to switch over to my fall wardrobe… which will be interesting since I barely fit in my long narrow closet. And did I mention breaking through that writer’s block in the previous paragraph? Yeah, that’s the scariest part of all. Dashiell has taken my brain and turned it into a mish mosh of self-hatred, self-judgment, massive excitement and mommy love. There’s no room for a pilot script. And since this one isn’t offering a paycheck either, there’s little in the way of motivation. Still, it has to be done before he arrives, lest I be sample free for next year’s staffing season. Maybe Dashiell can be my sample. Look what I made! Yeah, right.
So what’s a seriously pregnant girl to do when all she wants to do is lay around, but laying around results in an ever-increasing to do list that spills out into every area of her life? Me, I’m working on not being too hard on myself. Which might be the biggest challenge of all.
Tags: exhaustion, fear, hormones, mood swings, preparing for baby
